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Reflections on a day of binging after dieting for 7 months

On May 3rd, 2017, I embarked on a serious weight loss journey. I downloaded the LoseIt! app, paid $40 for a year of premium so that I could have extra data and features, and started seriously tracking my calories. Previously, I was using pen and paper to log, which is a huge pain. I started out at 1900 calories per day and weighing around 181lbs. Slowly, I worked my budget down to 1600 calories and currently weigh 156.8lbs.

Today, I decided to have a “binge” day. I allowed myself to eat whatever I want, with no restrictions whatsoever. It’s something I hadn’t done since I started back in May. Even on holidays, I still had at least loose restrictions, like “eat what you want, but be reasonable.” Today, I threw reasonable out the window.

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It’s Pumpkin Season! Recipe for pumpkin pancakes and “latte”

Fall is just around the corner, and that means it’s Pumpkin Season!!!

I love fall. It starts to get a bit cooler, the leaves turn pretty colors, and it’s the season of PUMPKINS!!! Pumpkins both make beautiful decorations and delicious food. Every year, I buy a tiny pumpkin to put on my desk and one to put in my house as a decoration. I’ve yet to carve pumpkins, but that’ll probably happen sometime in the future. Fall is also when I started dating my fiance, and when we plan to be married.

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I fell while running today

I decided to go out for a quick jog with my dog before dinner today. Lately I’ve been really into this game called Magikarp Jump, and thought it’d be a good idea to multitask and play the game while running. That turned out to be a terrible idea because something happened that I don’t remember happening since I was a kid: I fell. I tripped over an uneven part of sidewalk and fell pretty hard.

My phone flew out of my hands, my glasses and sunglasses flew off my face, and I hit the ground on my hands and knees. I could feel it happening and it seemed to happen in slow motion, but not slow enough for me to be able to stop it. I had to hobble home with my aching knees and whining dog (he wasn’t ready to be done yet!), all the while feeling so stupid for playing on my phone while running. Doesn’t matter that I only needed one hand to play; I wasn’t paying attention and my balance was off just enough that what might have been just a small stumble ended up with me on the ground. I also need to work on picking up my feet so I don’t trip in the first place. I tend to drag them a little too close to the ground.

The good news is that my phone and glasses are both fine. Thank God I invested in a nice, study case for my phone that saved it from scratches or cracks. My knees didn’t fare as well; they’re quite scraped and bruised and swollen and I probably won’t jog for a couple days. I’m more annoyed at myself than anything, but all in all I’m fine. I didn’t even cry 😛

I just wanted to share. The moral of the story is: pay attention to what you’re doing!

It’s Okay if You’re Ugly

You are probably not beautiful.

And you know what? That’s okay. Not everyone needs to be beautiful. Not everyone needs to be attractive. We need to stop teaching our children that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and instead teach them that it’s okay not to be beautiful. We need to teach our children to stop putting so much of their self esteem into their appearance. It’s okay to be ugly. It’s okay to be unattractive. You’re beautiful on the inside.

You are worth more than your appearance. We should be teaching kids that they have redeeming qualities besides their looks. Maybe they’re smart, good at sports, really creative, whatever. It’s important to teach kids that there are more things to life than beauty, and there are things that are valued about them other than beauty. Maybe if we didn’t put so much stock in appearance, we wouldn’t have so many kids with self esteem problems. We wouldn’t have the FA/HAES movement (potentially more on that later).

You might be ugly. Your kid might be ugly. And that’s okay.

Why do we care so much about what others think?

Why do we care so much about what others think? Why do we have such a high need for approval? Why do rejection or mean words cause us so much pain?

I’m seeking to answer this for myself. While in the process of creating this blog, I became terrified. I don’t typically like to bring attention to myself. I’m very introverted and private. I don’t typically like others to know what I’m thinking. I’m afraid of what they’ll think of me. I’m afraid to create and maintain this blog because I’m afraid that other people might not approve of what I have to say, or that they might make fun of me.
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Today I found the best thing ever.

Are you ready for this?

It’s called LOLCODE.

lolcode screenshot

It’s a programming language written in lolspeak, modeled after LOLCATS. I had a big grin on my face the entire time I was trying it out over at Code School. I don’t know if I would ever use it for a legitimate website, but damn it’s cool.