I was diagnosed with depression when I was around 16. For the longest time, I’ve suffered from the attitude of “what’s the point?” Why keep on living? Why try to achieve anything? Why do anything at all? You’re just going to die anyway. This attitude conflicts with my severe fear of death and is just an overall unpleasant and depressing attitude to have. Every time I’d try to do something, be it start working out, writing a book, painting a picture, or just trying to enjoy my life, I’d be bombarded of intrusive thoughts of “why are you doing this? Nothing matters, you’re just going to die anyway.”
Well recently, I came up with something that has helped me push these thoughts away. It’s a pretty simple concept, and it may not work for everyone, but it works for me. Whenever I start to think “why try when you’re just going to die?” I replace the thought with “because it’s my job to live.” When I think of living my life as some duty that I have to fulfill, it just helps for some reason. I don’t believe in God or any sort of higher power, but when I pretend that I was put on this earth with the sole point of living, I just feel better about it. I can do my job (live my life) and when it’s over, I’m done and it’s okay.
The attitude of “what’s the point of doing anything when it has an end?” is a stupid, irrational one. With that logic, why go to work? The work day is just going to be over, so why should I even start it? Why start a new video game or a movie or a book when you know it’s just going to end? Because the journey is enjoyable (or necessary, when it comes to work), that’s why.
This might not work for everyone, like I said. But if I don’t think about it too much, it works for me. Living my life is what I was put on this earth to do, and I’m going to do my best at accomplishing it.