On May 3rd, 2017, I embarked on a serious weight loss journey. I downloaded the LoseIt! app, paid $40 for a year of premium so that I could have extra data and features, and started seriously tracking my calories. Previously, I was using pen and paper to log, which is a huge pain. I started out at 1900 calories per day and weighing around 181lbs. Slowly, I worked my budget down to 1600 calories and currently weigh 156.8lbs.
Today, I decided to have a “binge” day. I allowed myself to eat whatever I want, with no restrictions whatsoever. It’s something I hadn’t done since I started back in May. Even on holidays, I still had at least loose restrictions, like “eat what you want, but be reasonable.” Today, I threw reasonable out the window.
I’ve missed food so much. I still eat a lot of junk food and eat pretty much anything I want as long as it fits within my calories, but to be honest, I’ve missed eating without abandon. So I was really excited for today. I planned out in advance all the things I was going to binge on, and ended up eating even more than that. I thought this day would be so super awesome and I would be so happy.
But it ended up that eating didn’t make me happy. Sure, I enjoyed it quite a bit in the moment, but overall, the day was pretty average. In some ways, it was worse than normal, because I overate a couple times and felt sick. I used to eat until way past the point of fullness all the time. Now I hate that feeling. I feel heavy, tired, gross, and nauseous. And then later I get heartburn. I’m really glad I rarely eat that way anymore.
I also find it interesting that when I was shopping for my binge day, I kept saying no to snacks. I thought “I want a bagel, and cheetos, and doritos, and sun chips, and cake, and brownies.” But then all I actually ended up buying was doritos (a 1 serving bag) and cake. I wanted a frappuccino, but I got a Grande instead of a Venti. It seems as though I have actually built new habits and don’t enjoy binging as much as I used to.
I still ate a lot of food today, and I enjoyed most of it. But once I got to the point of fullness, the food stopped tasting good, and then I felt sick. Now that I don’t eat like that regularly anymore, food tastes better. It tastes better when you’re actually hungry. I didn’t feel hungry at any point today after I ate breakfast. I ate all day long, and was full or at least satiated all day long, which took a little enjoyment out of the food.
All in all, I’m glad that my habits have changed. And while I still miss being able to eat whatever I wanted in whatever quantities I wanted, I realize now that it’s me looking through rose-colored glasses. It’s not actually all that enjoyable after the first couple bites. It doesn’t make my day overall any better. And there are way healthier hobbies and coping methods I could be using.
I thought it’d be interesting to compare today’s intake with my average intake from the week before, so you’ll find that below: